1. The only sure things are Death and Taxes, and when Kel goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
2. Kel enjoys a good practical joke. Her favorite is where she removes your lower intestine and pretends to make a balloon animal out of it. Then she cracks your skull open with a Volvo for not complimenting her on her balloon animal.
3. Kel doesn't believe in ravioli. She stuffs a live turtle with beef and smothers it in pig's blood.
4. There are two types of people in the world... people that suck, and Kel.
5. Once a cobra bit Kel's leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
6. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Kel allows to live.
7. Kel was once a knight in King Arthur's court. She was known as Sir Beatdown.
8. When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Kel.
9. Kel can win a game of Trivial Pursuit with one roll of the dice, and without answering a single question... just a nod of the head.
10. Kel is the only woman to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.