We were just about to head out of the door to work on monday when the phone rang. Nanna (mum's mum with one leg, not Nana who is dad's mum and seems to be some form of android) had taken a fall and was in hospital in Ayr. So we hopped in the car with nothing but what we wore, dropped by work to apologise and headed over there. It was more than a fall, that was merely a symptom.
By the time we got there she was on bipap because she was having great difficulty breathing, her kidney was failing and she was quite unconscious. Apparently she had not slept or been herself for a few weeks (nice of my aunts to let my mother know of course - more on them later). She was ill to the point they were telling us to not be too surprised if she slipped away in the night and they were very nervous about the idea of trying to move her from A&E up to the high dependency wards.
So we stayed the night, waited and waited. She woke up and my mother and aunts spoke to her a little but it was clear she wasn't too comfortable and every so often slipped back into unconsciousness. Her potassium was super high, her CO2 was high, they kept taking her blood and whatnot and telling us just to wait, beyond making her comfortable there was nothing they could do. They couldn't even give her fluids despite her being dehydrated because her heart and lungs could not take extra fluid.
My da and I came home for a couple of hours last night while my mum and aunts slept, grabbed a couple of hours ourselves, showered, grabbed some bags with clothes for ourselves and mum for a few days and after a quick message to bardiphouka using my DS, went back. We got there in time to hear that there was literally nothing more they could do. They had held out a tiny hope on the renal specialist from another hospital coming to see if there was a possibility of dialysis. But she was so ill by then (though awake and talking again) that if they took the lines out and the mask off she would be gone in moments.
Nanna decided herself to remove them. She wanted no more, and given her history, I do not really find that surprising. So that is what the doctors did.
I didn't go in and wait with her like my mother and aunts and father and little cousin Stacey did. And from what I heard I am glad I did not, I actually find it kind of appalling that they let Stacey stay. Or made her stay. At a guess Nanna's lungs suddenly started filling with fluid and of course that would have scared her a little (though she was fully aware of what she had asked for). Apparently that caused her distress and she wasn't getting the dignified exit she wanted, so the doctor ran over and gave her morphine. He was a little surprised himself I think, he expected her just to pass out.
Anyway after the morphine she was much more comfortable. My mother said that she kept saying she wanted to go up and asking if she was gone yet, my aunts however started their usual bickering and were snippy with my mum. There was a lot of that over the couple of days, though not so much that anyone actually got into a proper fight though a few of them did storm off on occasion.
So anyway, that as they say was that. Waiting to hear when the funeral is (the aunts have dumped the responsibility on aunt Sandra again just as they did for Papa. I feel a bit sorry for her actually, she is the oldest and so the rest seem to assume she has to do everything and won't take responsibility themselves.).
I learned a lot about my aunts. Helen in particular, as well as being materialistic and egotistic (which we always knew) is extremely racist, homophobic, bigoted and generally not very pleasant to spend time with at all. Jenny is Jenny, a touch of a self righteous hypocrite but I can tolerate her provided there is no drama for her to be queen of. May barely registered my presence and hardly said a word to my mother but was fine with the others. Meh. I'll stop snarking. Needless to say after the funeral I have no further ties to most of them in my eyes. I am tired of their treatment of my mother (she is an outsider now as far as they are concerned and they tend to treat her as such. The dominant ones anyway. Sandra and Basil aren't so bad.). This is not the first time they have not let us know something was wrong, or left it to the last moment. I will put money on the fact that before the will is even read they've picked out what they're taking without giving her a chance. All decisions are made by the dominant few without waiting for the rest. I don't see or speak to most of my cousins so I don't have much in the way of ties to them either though I have no problems with any of them. Stacey being the exception really, if you remember she stayed here a while a couple of years ago and I quite like her. She amuses me.
Blah blah blah. More stuff. Can't think of any,, no longer in the mood to rant.
*sigh* Drama. Just what everyone needs right now eh.