Doctor Fiancee (kellingham) wrote,
Doctor Fiancee
kellingham

VIRUS ALERT
If you receive an email entitled "Badtimes", delete it IMMEDIATELY.

Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty.

It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will

also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer.

It demagnetizes the strips on ALL of your credit cards. It

reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your

VCR and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you

attempt to play. It will program your phone auto-dial to call only 900

numbers. This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank. IT WILL

CAUSE YOUR TOILET TO FLUSH WHILE YOU ARE SHOWERING.

It will drink ALL your beer. FOR GOD'S SAKE, ARE YOU

LISTENING??

It will leave dirty underwear on the coffee table when you are

expecting company. It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your

Nair with Rogaine, all the while dating your current boy/girlfriend

behind your back and billing their hotel rendezvous to your Visa

card. It will cause you to run with scissors and throw things in a way

that is only fun until someone loses an eye.

It will rewrite your backup files, changing all your active verbs

to passive tense and incorporating undetectable misspellings which

grossly change the interpretations of key sentences. If the

"Badtimes" message opened in a Windows 95/98 environment, it will

leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in

dangerously close to a full bathtub.

It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and

pillows, It will also refill your skim milk with whole milk.

******* WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN. *******

And if you don't send this to 5000 people in 20 seconds you'll fart

so hard that your right leg will spasm and shoot straight out in

front of you, sending sparks that will ignite the person nearest

you.
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