Doctor Fiancee (kellingham) wrote,
Doctor Fiancee

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More HP Slash Fun

(Harry accidentally turns Pansy into a ferret while fighting Draco)
Harry was just about to rise to the challenge, when he felt the ferret wriggle slightly in his cloak pocket. "Um…ok." He said abruptly, surprising Draco and the Sinistra.
He gave Draco a meaningful look.
Draco looked back at Harry, confused. 'What?' he mouthed as Sinistra lead them to the dorm. Harry motioned downwards to the front of his robes, at the twitching protrusion.
Draco looked shocked and amused at the same time.
"No Draco…it's not that!!" Harry looked simply scandalised, and he blushed deeply.

(From a story where Harry must stop the world from falling into the sun (a parody on other slash fic))
Draco rubbed his hands together. "Virginal Harry Potter ass, just what every Evil Boy wants for breakfast."

(same story - Snape's office)
"Potter, don't be a child. Five-hundred points from Gryffindor for not wanting to fuck a Malfoy."
"Five hundred points to Slytherin for even considering screwing Gryffindor trailer trash."

(Same story - Hermione is pissed off)
Hermione quickly pointed her wand at Draco and whispered, "ballus restrictum". Draco screamed like a schoolgirl. "Now. Do as you're told, or I'll leave that there."

(From the sequel)
They walked back to the Great Hall to find the sorting hat, who was making eyes at a cowboy hat dumped there by professor Hooch.

(A Story where Harry and Draco duel)
Harry shouted out his curse, "Enshunte!" a neat little curse that was the equivalent of saying, "Shove it up your ass," as far as Harry had read.

(From the same story)
Suddenly, Draco let go of the supports as he felt something within him seem to snap. A moment later, he was flying through the air.
Draco landed on Professor Snape. The Potions Master looked torn between shock, amazement and good fortune.

(Draco's socks)
Our tale begins on a beautiful day in London. The sun was bright, the birds were singing, cute little kids were running up and down the streets playing with broken glass and Draco Malfoy was idly entertaining himself with his newest obsession- socks. Kindly do not ask.
Harry's messy mop of hair peeked over the back of the couch at Draco, who was sitting at their kitchen table contently gazing at his $1078 sock clad feet lovingly. Draco smiled as he wriggled his toes in the oh-so-soft material.

(Same story - Draco's insanity)
Curious, Harry looked over and..
Blinked. And blinked again.
"What are you DOING!?”
Draco looked up; the tip of a glistening brush poised over one perfectly manicured nail. “What? Wrong color?”
Harry took a slow, deep breath. “Draco.”
“You’re *painting* your *nails* *PINK!*”
Draco tilted his head to the side, platinum strands slanting across his face as he recapped False Innocence 09. “What crawled up your ass?”

Tonight was Draco’s birthday. They were having a party to celebrate. A tupperware party.

(More tupperware - Harry joins in)
"Tupperware?" Harry commented questioningly.
"Yes," confirmed Draco.
"Wow," said Harry dreamily.
A fire ignited within the cold confines of Draco’s opalescent eyes. "You like it too, Potter?"
"Who doesn’t? It’s so clean-"
"And fresh-"
"And plasticy-"
"And airtight."
"God Malfoy, I had no idea you were so poetic."

(Tupperware and gay sex - it's so wrong it must be right)
Snape vacillated, not sure what to do. He couldn’t go to Dumbledore. Yes that would look good ‘Sorry for waking you up headmaster, it’s just that the Slytherins are having an orgy with Harry Potter and I can’t seem to make them stop deflowering each other . . .’ He looked at the writhing forms on the floor. Draco Malfoy . . . he’s so like his father. Oh God, is that the latest europlastic microwavable container?

"I feel so dirty," said Snape, bemusedly, after a while.
"I feel so violated," whined Draco.
"Do we get to keep all of this?" asked Harry holding up various plastic containers.

Perhaps I shall more tomorrow. Perhaps not. Depends how bored I get ^_^


  • (no subject)

    I can't believe just how lucky I am.

  • (no subject)

    I haven't posted in a while. I've been SUPER busy. With the house and the wedding going on I haven't really been online much at all. But I don't mind…

  • (no subject)

    So there we have it. The keys to my very first home. After all that paperwork and running around, I actually own the house. Pictures of it will be…

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