Human Virus Scanner
The virus that have infected you will be show here along with thier cures, if known.
Viruses you suffer from:
Pikachu! Use your hyper-electric-get-a-life move now!
Eat some real food. Something which you can identify the source of every ingredient, not the point of manufacture.
Stop wearing the stick-on ears.
Gnome is better than workbench. BEOS is better than Amiga OS. The TV Modulator was a pain in the arse and an EXTERNAL power pack? I ask you. And it didn't have a built in MIDI port like some of its rivals.
CTRL-Break, and get a real computer. Repeat: "Mode 7 was not a good thing."
Read "God's Debris" by Scott Adams (yes, the Dilbert guy)
Polygons, all the polygons you can get are not enough.
No need for cure. Benign virus.
Buy a suit. Invest your money. Eat hotdog buns on a friday.
Having a well-known name doesn't make it good.
Free love is passe and potentially dangerous, and patchouli smells like cat piss.
Stop staring at the screen and get some fresh air. You should see a doctor about the RSI in your thumbs.
Face it, the elected government is in control. Actually that's quite scary.
If you find one tell us.
Consume more stuff! It's easier to buy new stuff than to recycle.
Use a mouse with more than one button.
Viruses you might suffer from:
Install the latest version of Microsoft Windows. Learn to love it.
Rule, Britannia! Britannia rule the waves! [repeat]
Read some Enid Blyton.
Life is not a game. Roll 3D6. On a 4 or more go out and do something with your life.
Everyone likes folk. No, really. Maybe you should listen to the Incredible String Band.
Big is good. Small is bad. Giant robots would not make a good last line of defence for Earth.
Free BSD (90%)
The GPL isn't that bad really. Adopt a penguin at the zoo.
Prog Rock (60%)
Long hair looks dumb with a bald spot. Listen to CD's they don't crackle.
There just hunks of metal which go real fast. Ride a bike through London at rush hour.
Move to the Isle of Wight.